Breathe.

Ever feel like you’re constantly going and nothing gets done? Or your to-do list grows by ten every time something is crossed off? Or how about that overwhelming feeling of not having enough hours in a day? Well just as I was reaching my breaking point and rushing off to yet another errand…. I open my door to one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. It literally took my breath away. No phone. No Ipad. Not even a book. I sat there and watched the sunset with no distractions or checking the time. I didn’t check my Facebook, Instagram, or email. I just sat there in complete silence.

Sometimes we just need a small reminder to simply take a moment for ourselves and just breathe.

Edit Your Personal Narrative

Did you ever have one of your English papers passed back filled with red marks; edits and deletions shaping your original script into something more cohesive and descriptive? If you’re at all like me, you first reacted with a bit of defensiveness tinged with embarrassment – “I thought the paper was good.” But then, upon reading the revised essay, you begrudging admit that the revised version is better. Maybe even much better.

The external hand wielding the marking pen gives you the gift of perspective, allowing you to see the patterns in your writing and the fall-back phrases that are too often used. The editing process removes what doesn’t better the whole and selects the best choice of similar words to express an idea.

Have you ever paid attention to your internal narrative, the story you tell to and about yourself? Have you ever noticed a pattern in the words you select and the phrases you repeat?

Often we unwittingly craft a negative internal narrative, repeating past injuries and berating ourselves. Spinning yarns into straightjackets that keep us bound and gagged, prisoners of ours pasts and our beliefs. We excuse others while we abuse ourselves, framing our choices as worse than they are.

The words we choose to say to others have influence.
The words we choose to say to ourselves have power.

When we repeatedly hear the same words about ourselves, we begin to believe them. Even if they aren’t true.

Pay attention to the words you use to describe yourself. Are you selecting the best term? For example, feel the difference between “depressed” and “sad.” Sure, they are technically synonyms but the connotation is vastly different. Depressed is heavy, permanent. A condition. Whereas sad says, “I feel badly right now.” It’s a mood. Ephemeral. Even if you are depressed, try renaming it as sadness in your script. Keep repeating it and you’ll start to believe it.

Look to see what other words or phrases you can replace –

“I shouldn’t feel that way” becomes “I feel this way right now and that’s okay.”

“I’m lonely” turns into “I’m feeling separated from others right now.”

“I’m stupid” is replaced with “I made the best decision I could in the moment and I’m learning.”

“I’m rehashing” is exchanged for “I’m processing.”

“I’m broke” is retired and “That doesn’t fit in to my personal wealth goal” is brought in to fill its place.

“I’ll never find love again” is crossed out and “I am open to receiving love again” is written in above.

“My life sucks” is modified with the phrase “right now.”

Edit your personal narrative to create a story of compassion. A script of forgiveness and learning and hope.

The words you choose have power.

Use that power to shape the life you want.

You’re worth it.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Did you ever have one of your English papers passed back filled with red marks; edits and deletions shaping your original script into something more cohesive and descriptive? If you’re at all like me, you first reacted with a bit of defensiveness tinged with embarrassment – “I thought the paper was good.” But then, upon reading the revised essay, you begrudging admit that the revised version is better. Maybe even much better.

The external hand wielding the marking pen gives you the gift of perspective, allowing you to see the patterns in your writing and the fall-back phrases that are too often used.  The editing process removes what doesn’t better the whole and selects the best choice of similar words to express an idea.

Have you ever paid attention to your internal narrative, the story you tell to and about yourself? Have you ever noticed a pattern in the words…

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{Hello Hello}

Hi guys! I’ve been out of the blogging world but miss it so much. I’m going to start back posting sporadically in between the craziness of life. XoXX

{Friendship: One Way Street?}

How many friends do you have? I mean TRUE friends. When you actually sit down and think about it you can probably count them on one hand. True friends are really hard to find. I always pour out my soul to others even when I’m on empty. Most of my friends have no idea half of the things I’ve gone through or continue to go through. I’ll give my last. I’ll listen. I’ll offer my advice even though I know you won’t listen. I’ll be there when you fall. I’ll listen again. I won’t tell you I told you so, instead I’ll just simply be there. I won’t judge. I will  simply be your friend.

I’ve poured so much out I am exhausted. Now don’t get me wrong, I do NOT think you should do things expecting something in return. BUT friendship should not be a one way street.

Those friends that only call when they need something. The friends that ask how you are doing but don’t even listen to the answer. The friend that’s always busy when you need something. The friend that won’t make time for you.

Our time is precious and why should we waste it on people who don’t cherish it. Well I refuse to waste my time. Here’s to dropping dead weight and focusing on those who love us.

XoXX

 

OOTD: Spring vs Winter

We’ve been having some oddly warm weather so definitely took advantage of it last week. 🙂

Side Ponytail {1.20.14}

I knew my hair would be a mess if I slept on the curly fro it was yesterday so last night I played around with it and decided a ponytail was the way to go. I did two twist to my head and put it in a side ponytail. I added bobby pins and a head band today. 🙂

OOTD.

Watch ya mouth.

Sixth grade. I was sitting and waiting on class to start. My thoughts were interrupted by my neighbor pointing out how hairy my arms were. I’ve shaved my arms ever since and still do to this DAY.

Third grade. We were studying static electricity and I could hardly breathe. I was ecstatic that it was almost my turn to get this “magic” balloon rubbed on my hair ad watch it go wild. I stepped up. My instructor quickly pointed out to the class that my hair was different & my kind of hair wouldn’t work. I took the walk of shame back to my seat and sank down hoping I would disappear. First she was wrong and it took me a little bit to figure out we are all different. It’s beautiful.

Ninth grade. It’s summer. Someone points out that I’m chubby compared to the other girls. I struggled with eating disorders through out high school.

Eleventh grade. I’m struggling with grades and I mean struggling. I just CAN’T focus. I’m hit with the words STUPID from a man that’s suppose to uplift his little princess. I doubted myself for years, especially in school. I still do sometimes. I expect less from myself so I’m almost surprised when I do well.

Adult. Same man told me that I would never be anything and that no one would ever love me. I have the hardest time accepting praise and love.

 “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

I know you’ve heard the saying.

Well I call BULLSHIT.

Many of the insecurities, doubt, and fears I have were born from the lips of others. One statement can be drilled into someone’s head. BE CAREFUL what you say to others. We should uplift one another not tear each other down. I always try to compliment others. Genuine compliments. Who knows when the last time they received one? Compliment someone today… better yet every day. It’s funny how seeing someone else smile can light up your own day.

XoXX

Blonde Hair, Blue Eyes.

I remember being in Elementary school and wishing I had blonde hair and blue eyes. When I watched TV the “pretty” girl always had blonde hair and blue eyes. When I walked down the barbie aisle most barbies had blonde hair and blue eyes. I had to search for any brown and most of the time they still didn’t look anything like me. Here I was 10 with super black hair and brown eyes, almond shaped at that. I didn’t know what to think.

We all have things we would maybe change about our appearance or things we wish we could just tweak a little bit. But how boring would that be. I eventually grew into my own skin and realized that beauty doesn’t have a specific mold and that beauty is more than skin deep.

It helped to find someone in the media that I could relate to…Rihanna (no I don’t look like her). But she had almond eyes, brown skin, dark hair and a round nose. I instantly fell in love. We won’t talk about how she went off the deep end later down the line, haha.

But my point is that the fact that we are different makes us beautiful. Many times it’s the very things we “hate” about ourselves that draws others. Love the skin you’re in. Be beautiful.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

XoXX

{Happy Born Day, Lukas Andrew}

Yep, it’s about that time.Time for my sappy Momma post. Today is my son’s second birthday. Wait, what?! I can not believe it. Well I can actually. I know I’m suppose to say it flew by but it hasn’t. It feels like two years if not more. I don’t know if that puts me on a bad mom list somewhere but it’s true. It’s been fun but challenging. Nonetheless, I’m so grateful I was chosen to be his Momma. He has been the light through the darkness and was worth EVERYTHING I’ve gone through. So today we celebrate you, Lukas! You are such a joy to watch grow and you are so LOVED.

(Pictures from Newborn shoot by Clever Photography. 5 days old & 5 lbs)

XoXX