Breathe.

Ever feel like you’re constantly going and nothing gets done? Or your to-do list grows by ten every time something is crossed off? Or how about that overwhelming feeling of not having enough hours in a day? Well just as I was reaching my breaking point and rushing off to yet another errand…. I open my door to one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. It literally took my breath away. No phone. No Ipad. Not even a book. I sat there and watched the sunset with no distractions or checking the time. I didn’t check my Facebook, Instagram, or email. I just sat there in complete silence.

Sometimes we just need a small reminder to simply take a moment for ourselves and just breathe.

Edit Your Personal Narrative

Did you ever have one of your English papers passed back filled with red marks; edits and deletions shaping your original script into something more cohesive and descriptive? If you’re at all like me, you first reacted with a bit of defensiveness tinged with embarrassment – “I thought the paper was good.” But then, upon reading the revised essay, you begrudging admit that the revised version is better. Maybe even much better.

The external hand wielding the marking pen gives you the gift of perspective, allowing you to see the patterns in your writing and the fall-back phrases that are too often used. The editing process removes what doesn’t better the whole and selects the best choice of similar words to express an idea.

Have you ever paid attention to your internal narrative, the story you tell to and about yourself? Have you ever noticed a pattern in the words you select and the phrases you repeat?

Often we unwittingly craft a negative internal narrative, repeating past injuries and berating ourselves. Spinning yarns into straightjackets that keep us bound and gagged, prisoners of ours pasts and our beliefs. We excuse others while we abuse ourselves, framing our choices as worse than they are.

The words we choose to say to others have influence.
The words we choose to say to ourselves have power.

When we repeatedly hear the same words about ourselves, we begin to believe them. Even if they aren’t true.

Pay attention to the words you use to describe yourself. Are you selecting the best term? For example, feel the difference between “depressed” and “sad.” Sure, they are technically synonyms but the connotation is vastly different. Depressed is heavy, permanent. A condition. Whereas sad says, “I feel badly right now.” It’s a mood. Ephemeral. Even if you are depressed, try renaming it as sadness in your script. Keep repeating it and you’ll start to believe it.

Look to see what other words or phrases you can replace –

“I shouldn’t feel that way” becomes “I feel this way right now and that’s okay.”

“I’m lonely” turns into “I’m feeling separated from others right now.”

“I’m stupid” is replaced with “I made the best decision I could in the moment and I’m learning.”

“I’m rehashing” is exchanged for “I’m processing.”

“I’m broke” is retired and “That doesn’t fit in to my personal wealth goal” is brought in to fill its place.

“I’ll never find love again” is crossed out and “I am open to receiving love again” is written in above.

“My life sucks” is modified with the phrase “right now.”

Edit your personal narrative to create a story of compassion. A script of forgiveness and learning and hope.

The words you choose have power.

Use that power to shape the life you want.

You’re worth it.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Did you ever have one of your English papers passed back filled with red marks; edits and deletions shaping your original script into something more cohesive and descriptive? If you’re at all like me, you first reacted with a bit of defensiveness tinged with embarrassment – “I thought the paper was good.” But then, upon reading the revised essay, you begrudging admit that the revised version is better. Maybe even much better.

The external hand wielding the marking pen gives you the gift of perspective, allowing you to see the patterns in your writing and the fall-back phrases that are too often used.  The editing process removes what doesn’t better the whole and selects the best choice of similar words to express an idea.

Have you ever paid attention to your internal narrative, the story you tell to and about yourself? Have you ever noticed a pattern in the words…

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{Friendship: One Way Street?}

{New Blog Post} Friendship, it's not a one way street. #linkinbio #wordpress

How many friends do you have? I mean TRUE friends. When you actually sit down and think about it you can probably count them on one hand. True friends are really hard to find. I always pour out my soul to others even when I’m on empty. Most of my friends have no idea half of the things I’ve gone through or continue to go through. I’ll give my last. I’ll listen. I’ll offer my advice even though I know you won’t listen. I’ll be there when you fall. I’ll listen again. I won’t tell you I told you so, instead I’ll just simply be there. I won’t judge. I will  simply be your friend.

I’ve poured so much out I am exhausted. Now don’t get me wrong, I do NOT think you should do things expecting something in return. BUT friendship should not be a one way street.

Those friends that only call when they need something. The friends that ask how you are doing but don’t even listen to the answer. The friend that’s always busy when you need something. The friend that won’t make time for you.

Our time is precious and why should we waste it on people who don’t cherish it. Well I refuse to waste my time. Here’s to dropping dead weight and focusing on those who love us.

XoXX

 

Side Ponytail {1.20.14}

I knew my hair would be a mess if I slept on the curly fro it was yesterday so last night I played around with it and decided a ponytail was the way to go. I did two twist to my head and put it in a side ponytail. I added bobby pins and a head band today. 🙂

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Twist Out on Straight Hair with Rollers {1.19.14}

I straightened my hair last week and it was hitting the end of the road. I decided to try a twist out on my straight hair. It was dry and I just put coconut oil on it as I twisted it. I put rollers on the end of each twist and off to bed I went. I loved the results! It was fun to switch things up.

Twist out with rollers on straight hair. #naturalhairdontcare"If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing YOU can be." -Maya Angelou #weird #quirky #odd #unique #atypical

Watch ya mouth.

Sixth grade. I was sitting and waiting on class to start. My thoughts were interrupted by my neighbor pointing out how hairy my arms were. I’ve shaved my arms ever since and still do to this DAY.

Third grade. We were studying static electricity and I could hardly breathe. I was ecstatic that it was almost my turn to get this “magic” balloon rubbed on my hair ad watch it go wild. I stepped up. My instructor quickly pointed out to the class that my hair was different & my kind of hair wouldn’t work. I took the walk of shame back to my seat and sank down hoping I would disappear. First she was wrong and it took me a little bit to figure out we are all different. It’s beautiful.

Ninth grade. It’s summer. Someone points out that I’m chubby compared to the other girls. I struggled with eating disorders through out high school.

Eleventh grade. I’m struggling with grades and I mean struggling. I just CAN’T focus. I’m hit with the words STUPID from a man that’s suppose to uplift his little princess. I doubted myself for years, especially in school. I still do sometimes. I expect less from myself so I’m almost surprised when I do well.

Adult. Same man told me that I would never be anything and that no one would ever love me. I have the hardest time accepting praise and love.

 “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”

I know you’ve heard the saying.

Well I call BULLSHIT.

Many of the insecurities, doubt, and fears I have were born from the lips of others. One statement can be drilled into someone’s head. BE CAREFUL what you say to others. We should uplift one another not tear each other down. I always try to compliment others. Genuine compliments. Who knows when the last time they received one? Compliment someone today… better yet every day. It’s funny how seeing someone else smile can light up your own day.

XoXX