The title basically sums up society’s view on divorce. Guess what? You’re not doomed. I’ve never really thought much about divorce until it was literally knocking at my door. In America, there is one divorce every 13 seconds. That’s 6,646 divorces per day, and 46,523 divorces per week. Yikes! Now, although divorces can be pretty nasty, it’s not always a horrible experience. And people just can’t wrap their head around that. Trust me. People are shocked when the “D word” comes up and then they’re confused when they see my ex and I interact or hear me talk about him. We don’t hate each-other and we’re actually friends. We didn’t use lawyers and sat down together like adults. We even managed to go to the courthouse together and we both came out alive. We both love each-other enough to acknowledge we don’t work and we want each-other to be happy. I actually made sure he was okay with sharing this on my blog. Crazy, right?
Apparently we’re an oddity. We were able to transition back to friends and be great parenting partners. And people just don’t get it. Most people’s first reaction is to try to “fix” it. It’s actually pretty amusing considering a few things. First, it’s a little too late. Secondly, they don’t know anything about our marriage and usually say, “you guys seemed so happy.” Thanks but seeming happy is not our goal in life. Third and most importantly, does it have anything to do with you? Below is part of an actual conversation I had recently:
Friend: its weird to me that y’all are like not upset about it (not judging just an observation) if I got divorced Id die
Me: The most freeing thing has been to do what’s best for me and not care what others say or think. It’s my life and I’m so happy. Every body is different and although some divorces are sad, ours has actually been surprisingly a good thing.
Society seems to have handing out pity for divorcees down but they haven’t figured out what to with those of us who are happily divorced just yet. Generally I’m a considered a cold hearted bitch because I made a decision to be happy now and not wait 40 years. Haha. I can’t change some people’s view but I can be light for those who are down the same path. Don’t listen to the world, your life isn’t over. You’re not ruined. Divorce doesn’t make you a horrible person and no, you’re not going to hell. (Yes I’ve been told that.) I’ll end with a quote that puts love perfectly and a picture from our wedding! Ironic, eh? Enjoy!
“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life; Love shouldn’t be one of them.